this is it...

.... I have to come back here, I've been away for long enough.... I'll be back this week, with hopefully a new look, a new energy, a new challenge.

... things have been good, I've been good -- I just haven't been sharing much of myself (with anyone so please don't feel like it's you!)

... I'm back

.... soon

... this week

.... I promise!!!

i'm alive, breathing, exercising and eating healthy foods...

the problem is that I'm working like a moron.... we have a big event next week, until then, i'll be making sporadic appearances on the blog... sorry!

you're all in my thoughts, i'm sending you all good vibes!

back in the groove

.... exercise wise it was easy to get back in the groove. so much so that i texted my trainer yesterday to see if he had any openings --- and he did!!! So I went in for a workout, it was good to be back, it was good to be sweating and it was awesome to be doing something for me.

on the eating front --- i went out for sushi last night and could've made sooo many better choices. that being said, i lived and learned. this morning i'm dusting off my belly and going to have a good day.

choices, choices, choices. it's what it all comes down to. i'm going to do my best to make the right ones today. I haven't had time to go do groceries since I got back. I'll be doing some before work this morning to stock up the fridge at work... .then tonight i'll do the real deal for the house.

ch-ch-ch-ch-choices....

bloated, no energy, blah, gross, out of touch...

that's how i've been feeling this past week.... don't get me wrong, Switzerland was amazing and I had a great time...

but...

the food, the lack of working out in a gym and the lack of structure has left me feeling quite gross (that's the best word that sums it up). I'm excited to be back home, in my cocoon, with my schedule and my program.

I am now working on seeing how I can do what I do here anywhere in the world.

until then, I'm going to celebrate my ability to get back on track, my ability to notice that I was off track and my ability to forgive myself for not giving this 100%.

today is yesterday's tomorrow... today is what i make of it. today i have choices.

today, i decided not to get delivery pizza... because tomorrow i want to have energy to spare.

in switzerland....

.... shooting a wedding!!! how incredibly lucky am i...

there's wayyy too much chocolate and cheese for anybody's good out here...

i'm doing my best to be my best....

i'll be hitting that treadmill double time next week!

the good, the bad the ugly

I am totally motivated when it comes to exercise, I push my limits every day and try to do more than I did yesterday.... I go to the gym every morning at 5 and do cardio, I'm there every night to do cardio and weights...

the food... oh the food, i'm trying sooo hard to be on track, i'Ve been 100% on program for the past week --- 7 days straight of being 100% on program...

i had a rough afternoon at work today, throws me off track, gets me emotional... i go to the gym, have a personal training session with my trainer... he's incredible - makes me work hard, listens and pushes me... it was an amazing workout, i walk out of there and feel great, feel like i've got this thing down --- that i can do this and i can get passed whatever i need to as long as i focus on my exercise.

i go to Shoppers Drug mart to pick up some stuff.... a bag of doritos and a chocolate bar make their way in to my bag.... the things i used to eat before- but haven't since August 2nd.... it's been a long time - I don't even notice that they went in there, i didn't even think...

They went in there allright, they were eaten in the car even before I got home... I get home look in the bag and see the empty wrappers...

I wish I could say it was because I was emotional and it's o.k.

It's not o.k. --- it's not o.k. at all, I need to look in the mirror and recognize that it's about choices and i didn't make the right ones.

Those 2 things didn't just put themselves in my basket, I put them there all by myself....

I need to focus...

I can't let a bad afternoon ruin my hard work...

I need to own up...

I need to make this journey about me...

I will move on...

I will push harder tomorrow and I will make the right choices.

I will be prepared.

And if I have a bad day, I will exercise, I will come here and talk, I will go for a walk.... I won't turn to doritos and chocolate, because the answer isn't there...

the answer is within my own spirit.

it has a voice

it has a choice

this is about me.... and i'm going to make it work... no matter what it takes.

un, deux, trois!!!

For the 3rd day in a row, my sister and I have met at the gym at 5 in the morning to do a 40 minute cardio workout!!! I'm soooo proud of us!!!

I go again at about 3:30 to do an hour of a cardio/weight mix --- and it all feels good!

We're going to be doing our best to do this from Monday to Friday, it's not only a healthy thing to do but it gives us some hang out time!!!!